Is this a mess? You're getting warm.
What we have here's the perfect storm.
The toxic water's off the charts
(Not counting washed-up body parts).
Then there's Zika and all it does.
Mosquitoes: real Olympic buzz.
The crime wave worsens day by day.
Best keep those smartphones stashed away.
Brigades of soldiers guard this fort.
The president's hauled off to court.
Projects languish, the budget fails;
Russian doping, weak ticket sales.
It's bad all right, bad as it gets,
And did we mention terror threats? 
So light the flame and off we go. 
It's time for golf and taekwondo.